Speaking through Your Ears and Heart

Colossians 4:6 Let your conversation be gracious and attractive, so that you will have the right response for everyone.

In my daily devotions, I came across one written by a pastor/writer who goes by the name Kelly K. His writing really resonated with me and was a great reminder on how I engage people in conversation.

I have often been in conversations with friends, family, and even strangers where I've found myself engaging in some form of competition with the other person. It's never our intention, but in our attempt to try and connect with the other person, we sometimes find ourselves sharing similar circumstances that we've experienced. Colossians 4:6 says that every conversation should be gracious and attractive. Gracious conversation can take the form of engaging with another person though listening, being quick to listen and slow to speak. Being a good listener can also be a great way to have an attractive conversation. It shows the other person that what they are sharing is important and that you care about them and their situation or story. I'm learning to squash the thought of sharing my experience and making the conversation about me. By the way, this is another way of considering others more important than ourselves. If we do choose to speak, our words should be encouraging the other person as they share. 

Kelly K describes competitive communication like a tennis match. In tennis, the objective is to score a point by being better than the other person, causing them to miss your shot and making you the winner. He said we should be comparing our conversation to playing catch. The object is to get the ball into the other person's glove and in return, they try to put it back into your glove. You're both trying to get the other person to succeed. We try to be intentional with every throw and we try to make every catch thrown to us as an encouragement to them for making a great toss. I love Kelly's analogy that a score of 0-0 in a tennis match is called love-love. When two people truly understand that the score to every conversation should be 0-0 and that it is not a competition, they can have a love-love conversation in a loving and caring way.

We can be more intentional in our conversations, having the attitude of playing catch and not having g tennis match. In this way, our conversations will be more gracious and attractive and people would want to engage with us more. This should be even more evident in our conversations with unbelievers. The grace we display in our words could be what attracts them to the Gospel. Let's bless others by being gracious and encouraging to them. We have great reason to have joy in our live. Let others see and experience our joy, so that they can experience the joy that comes through Christ. 

Pastor Bryan